Saturday, 30 June 2012

THE SURE THING


“Honest, Bob. Honest. This time it’s a winner for sure.” 

“Like all your last money making ideas, No thanks, I think I’ll pass, Joe.”

“Aw, Bob. Don’t be like that. I may have some…er… minor hiccups in the past, but this one is a real winner.”

“Minor! You call buying 500 HD players a week after Blue ray took over, as a minor hiccup? You lost over three hundred pounds on them…What the hell would be a major hiccup?”

“They might have come back, retro style. Retro is in.”

“They’re not bloody retro, they’re unwanted. They are the losers.”

“Okay, so maybe I’ve made some bad choices.”

“Are you for real Joe? You really think I’m going to invest in anything you do. Anything. How much am I still out for on the last sure fire winner?”

“twohundredandfifty….”

“What? Don’t mumble Joe. Two hundred and fifty pounds was that? And what did I get for my investment?”

“That’s not gone though, there’s still a chance…”

“Don’t be a stupid fool all your life. The Nigerians are not going to send ten times the money back to you for laundering their cash. You’re an idiot, pure and simple.”

“That’s not nice. Sometimes you really know how to hurt someone you do, Bob. I’m trying.”

“Too bloody right you are. You’re nothing but a pain in the arse…”

“You promised, Mum you’d watch out for me, help me, On her death bed you promised, Bob. On her death bed…”

“…Okay…Okay… I did, I did promise her I’d keep an eye on you, help you where I could. God help me, what’s your big idea then?”

“Thanks Bob. You’re the bestest brother a man could have.”

“I’ve not agreed anything yet. Let’s hear your idea first.”

“Here.”

“You telling me, Joe, that your big idea is a bottle of brown water?”

“Taste it. Honest, I’ve seen this stuff selling off the supermarket shelves. And it’s dead easy to make. I can see that for at least a quid fifty. And I can make as much as you want for about thirty pence.”

“You want me to taste this? It’s got bits floating in it for god’s sake. What that bent piece of metal at the bottom?”

            “Well, that’s what makes it Spring water aint it. I could only find rusty ones.”

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