THE BET

Now, before I tell you the bet, you need to understand somethings.
The first thing is that I am not mad or daft, or anything like. I’m an educated mathematician who scored in the top 2% of his year, not just at my own school, but across the entire country. I’ve worked for the government on a number of analytical problems I can’t tell you about, and a number of military projects that could get us both killed.

So, no, Not Mad, just very, very good with numbers and statistics, you show me a problem and I can figure out the best thing to do, and exactly what will happen if you do the wrong thing. This sort of thinking can be very useful when there’s lots of money on the line.

The second thing I’m going to tell you is the bet I do daily. It’s taken me months to figure out the probability factor to make sure I eventually get it right, and when I do I’m going to buy a little island somewhere in the Mediterranean and leave all the numbers behind. The reason I’m telling you this is that there is enough money available for us both to win big.

The first time I placed the bet, the bookie took my money and gave me 100-1 against, but over the years, that’s increased to a Billion to 1. But the way I figure it, there are 365 days in a year, and I know it's going to happen eventually so spending £365 in order to get a Billion back is a good rate.

I know, I know. You’re looking at me in that way now, the way my Maths professor did when I figured out the probability of his wife being a lesbian. But I was right on the button with that and I’m dead on the button with this.

Even if I’m out by Ten Years it’s still a great bet, £3,650 to get a Billion is still worth while. My bookie still laughs at me when I go in, but the day after it's happened and I turn up to collect my money, you just watch his face. Everyone who’s ever laughed at me before won’t be able to say anything.

What is the bet then, you ask. Well, its fairly straight forward really, all you need to do is go into the bookies near you, any bookies will do and place a one pound bet on the world ending today.

Hang on, why are you laughing now. I don’t get it, you’ll see, you won't be laughing when I go in to get my money.

What do you mean, you defiantly won’t be laughing?

Stop it.

Why does everyone laugh?