That Odd Feeling

“Say that again will ya, Paul.” 

“Say watt again?” 

“You sounded odd, sort of different but right at the same time.” Brian held his nose and tried to pop his ears. 

“It just didn’t feel right, doesn’t sound right in my head.” 

“Ewe awl write? Ewe luck… ” 

“Ahh, stop it!”

“Aye don’t no watt ewe’r on about.” Paul looked at his friend with concern. “Ewe luck very pale.” 

“My head hurts. Stop it, please.” Brian held his hands to his eyes as he tried to control the pain throbbing behind them.

“Eye can weight until the panes past if ewe like.” 

“Just…Just stop. Okay. Please, just stop, be quite for a moment.” 

“It’s knot something I’m doing.” Paul looked angry at the accusation. “Let me sea ewe, luck at me. I’m doing nothing, I’m no lyre. It’s knot fair to accuse me.” Brian fell to his knees, the pressure behind his eyes made his head feel like it was going to explode. 

“Just stop. I’m begging you, Paul. I can’t take much more.” It was hard to talk, the pain just seemed to be increasing. 

“Are ewe inn pane? Do ewe want me two call ewe a Doctor?” Brian was on his side now, cradling his head in his hands. “Ewe can’t lye there, Brian, someone could Steel from ewe. Sit up, let the heir get two ewe. If you lye on the floor, you’ll end up with a brews, and your knows is running. Luck. Weight here for a moment, Yule bee all write soon. I sore a police man over their, I’ll go and get hymn. You luck fowl. How did ewe feel this mourning, please don’t dye on me.” 

Brian didn’t answer, the pain in his head was excruciating now, but no matter what he did, he didn’t seem to be able to stop his friend talking. Eventually Paul returned. 

“Hear he is officer. I told him to sit hear and wrest, but he’s in so much pane he just..” 

“It’s okay, sun, just step back and let me gays at him for a second, have a torque to him, it’s a bit of a storey this I can tell ewe.” The police man knelt by Brian’s side, resting his hand on his forehead. “Can ewe here me sun?” he ask. “Ewe can’t lye on the flaw, sun. Ewe don’t luck that grate I can tell ewe, knot four this our of the day. Butt I kneed to ask ewe two move. Come hear, let me help you up before it reigns.” As the police office pulled him, a load sound escaped from Brian’s back passage and the pressure lifted. 

“Sorry, Officer” Brian apologised, as the pain vanishing as quickly as it came. “I don’t know what came over me.” 

“It’s perfectly alright, Sir.” the officer nodded. “I’ve seen it before. You might want to see a doctor though, it sounds like you're Homophonic.”