Sunday 5 February 2012

HUMAN MUMIFICATION - The idiots guide to the Human Mummification process.

Mummification was first recorded in Egypt, and the oldest recorded mummy was dated at around 3,300 BC, this mummy was called Ginger, due to her red hair which was still visible when she was found.

The basic process relies upon the removal of the internal organs first, as these are obviously the first things to de-compose. Once the body is cleaned, originally using palm oil, but lime oil can be used just as well, then the organs are removed and either disposed of, or placed in jars to be buried with the body.

The body was then covered in `Natron` to dry it out, but common salt works here. Asda sell 1KG bags for just over a pound a bag, usually four or five will be enough, especially if you place the corpse in the bath first and left for a month. The organs can be added back at this point, or blended and flushed down the toilet.

At this stage, the body is usually dried and can be stuffed with anything to hand. I found that bundles of newspaper make the body look lumpy, but the inner of a cushion leaves a more life like result. I found that using a fine, clear thread worked better for stitching, but be careful with the needle, a simple prick on the finger can leave a tell tail stain on the body.

Once re-sealed, the body can be dressed or wrapped in bandages, and as long as the organs have been removed correctly, including the brain, then there is little chance of it coming back to life, or smelling like rotten cabbage, something I wish I had read about before I started.

My neighbours complained you see, and it wasn’t long before the police arrived and arrested me. How was I to know that the brain would turn to mush, still, my Mum would have been proud of the stitching, though it was a shame to ruin the blender.

If you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me at the below address, I should be here for some time


Ian Hawley
Cell 13, Block B.
Strangeways.

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